


What We Still Carry

by zhiantara



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2019), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: A little bit of angst, F/M, Pregnancy, kyo's bio dad is the real villain of the series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:02:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25530286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhiantara/pseuds/zhiantara
Summary: “What we went through… it lingers. We carry it with us, especially in times like this. No one would blame you for being afraid.”
Relationships: Honda Tohru/Sohma Kyou
Comments: 6
Kudos: 87





	What We Still Carry

Kyo was pacing.

He’d been pacing ever since they’d entered Hatori’s office and been told to wait, about ten minutes ago. From her seat, Tohru watched her husband walk back and forth across the small waiting room. She drummed her fingers against her knees.

“What’s taking him so long?” Kyo growled, casting a glare towards the door where they’d last seen Hatori.

“Well,” Tohru said, “I think it’s not something he handles very often. He said on the phone that he’d have to get his equipment ready.”

“Yeah, but he knew we were coming, why’d he put it off until we got here?”

Kyo continued his pacing. Tohru was tired, more tired than she could ever remember being, and somehow watching his long legs traverse the room over and over again was making it even worse. “Kyo?”

Her weariness must’ve seeped into her voice. Before she could blink, Kyo knelt in front of her and took her hands. “What is it? Do you feel okay?” His words came out in a rush.

“I’m okay.” She squeezed his hands. “But you’re not.” When he looked away, Tohru tilted her head. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He was quiet for a moment, and when he finally sucked in a breath to respond, the door behind them opened. They both jumped and looked up to find Hatori standing in the doorway.

“You can come in now,” he said.

Tohru looked back at Kyo, still clasping his hands, and she couldn’t stop the nervous smile from spreading over her face. “Ready?” she asked.

He responded with his own smile, even as his brows furrowed and his hands shook. “Not really.”

“That’s normal,” said Hatori, not looking up from his clipboard.

They followed Hatori into the exam room. He shut the door behind them and turned off the lights, leaving the room illuminated by computer monitors and one large screen on the wall, currently showing nothing but some text in the corner.

Hatori gestured towards the large bed in the center of the room, inclined so that the patient would be slightly propped up. Kyo helped her up onto the bed and, even though there was a chair nearby, remained standing beside her, clutching her left hand with both of his.

“Do you want to sit?” she asked him, but he only responded with a quick shake of his head.

Hatori finally looked up from his clipboard, which probably listed Tohru’s vitals that his assistant had taken earlier. “Start date of your last menstrual cycle?”

“Umm…” Tohru squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to remember.

“May thirteenth,” said Kyo. When both Tohru and Hatori looked at him, he shrugged his shoulders, sounding almost guilty when he told Tohru, “I wrote it down. Just in case.”

Tohru laughed and put her free hand on top of his. “I’m glad you did! I would’ve forgotten.” She wasn’t surprised; Kyo had been reading up on the subject almost non-stop, ever since they’d decided to start trying, and she felt as though he knew far more about what was going on than she did. He was even the one who suggested she take the pregnancy test last week, after sheepishly pointing out that a certain pair of Tohru’s body parts had grown rather large.

After a quick look at the calendar on the wall, Hatori made a note on his clipboard. “That puts you at about ten weeks. We might be able to hear a heartbeat today.”

“You can do an ultrasound, too, right?” Kyo blurted out. The lines on his brow were stark in the glow of the computer monitors.

Hatori’s striking eyes fixed onto Kyo. “What do you think all this equipment is for?”

“Er…” Tohru didn’t need to be able to see in the dim light to know that his face had turned red.

Hatori sighed and set his clipboard aside. “I think you should sit down.”

Kyo did as he was told, pulling the chair up next to the bed. Tohru traced little circles atop his hands and smiled at him, though he did not meet her gaze. When he’d asked her to call Hatori first, even though she had a gynecologist much closer to their house, he had not explained why. He didn’t need to.

Hatori stood now with his arms folded over his chest as he looked between Tohru and Kyo. “I’m going to tell you now, Kyo, that what you’re looking for isn’t going to show up on any ultrasound.”

Kyo sucked in a sharp breath; his grip on Tohru’s hand tightened. “Because--” The word came out like a croak; he swallowed and tried again. “Because it’s too early?”

“No. Because it didn’t show with you.”

Tohru watched as Kyo’s shoulders slumped, as his hands went slack in hers. She turned back to Hatori and frowned. “But how do you know?”

“As the Sohma family doctor, and being cursed myself, I wanted to understand the nature of the curse as much as possible. Part of that was learning about our births. Kyo’s mother had multiple ultrasounds throughout the pregnancy, and he appeared by all accounts to be a perfectly normal baby, right up until birth.

“It’s impossible to ascribe scientific logic to a _curse_ , of course, but my personal theory is that the Zodiac spirit did not enter the baby’s body until a certain point in gestation, specifically, two months before the due date. And that the act of the Zodiac spirit possessing the baby triggers premature labor.”

A haggard sigh escaped Kyo. “Of course. I probably wouldn’t be here if they’d seen a monster on the ultrasound.”

Tohru’s lips pressed into a thin line as she stared into the black screen in front of her. All week she’d been waiting for that first glimpse of the little spark of life nestled somewhere deep in her belly; but she couldn’t possibly enjoy the moment if the man beside her did not. She could wait a few minutes more. “Hatori-san? I’m so sorry, but could you--”

“Of course,” he answered before she could even finish her question. “I’ll be right outside.”

After the door closed behind him, Tohru shifted on the bed so she could fully face Kyo. He met her gaze, brows furrowed in a mournful expression.

“Sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to make this… something sad.”

Tohru put her hands on either side of his face. “The curse is broken.”

“I know, I know. I know.” The words got softer and softer each time he spoke them.

“But if it does come back somehow--” His eyes widened, and Tohru realized that he’d never actually expressed the fear aloud. But she had seen it, gathering over him like storm clouds, darker and darker with each day that passed since that first positive test. “Well, it wouldn’t change anything.”

She took his hands and placed them over her still-flat abdomen. “I’ll still love our child, no matter what.” She smiled. “And so will you.”

Kyo let out a breathless laugh, his orange eyes shining in the dim glow. “Yeah. We will.”

With a satisfied nod, Tohru ran her fingers along the edge of his shirt collar. “Besides, if the curse does come back, we’ll just have to make sure it breaks again.”

He laughed again, this time loud and steady, and he bent to press a kiss against Tohru’s belly. When he sat back up, he observed her stomach with a raised brow. “I don’t actually know where it is,” he admitted.

“Me neither.” She gave a little shrug. “We could ask Hatori-san.”

He grinned, a glimmer of excitement shining in his eyes. “Right.”

The room was small enough that he could open the door without standing, and Hatori reentered the room with a heavy sigh.

“It’s not often that a patient makes their doctor wait.”

Tohru and Kyo exchanged smiles. “Sorry,” she said.

Hatori sat in a chair on the other side of the bed, and as he entered a few keystrokes into the computer in front of him, he spoke in a low voice, “Kyo.” They both turned to look at him. “What we went through… it lingers. Especially in times like this. No one would blame you for being afraid.” Tohru’s gaze drifted past Hatori, to the framed photo on the shelf behind him: a little girl with light brown pigtails. “But there’s no sense in worrying about things you can’t control. And you have plenty of that ahead of you now.”

\---

Five months later, Tohru and Kyo walked hand-in-hand through the gates of the Sohma estate. The clear skies did little to stop the chill in the air, but Tohru didn’t mind. In fact, this weather was a relief. Winter’s arrival had felt like she was finally standing in front of a fan after a long, sweaty day under the sun. She hadn’t even worn her scarf today, even though Kyo had asked her about it twice before tucking it under his arm “just in case.”

Tohru smiled up at her husband, admiring his sharp features, his bright hair, his warm skin. He’d always doted on her, ever since they’d gotten together all those years ago; she couldn’t have imagined before how he could be even _more_ attentive, but somehow, he’d managed. Foot rubs, warm baths, even staying awake to talk with her on those nights when she was too uncomfortable to sleep: he was the sort of spouse that every pregnant woman dreamed of.

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, and the hint of a smile tugged at his lips. “What?”

“Nothing,” she replied, bumping him with her shoulder. “Just thinking about how lucky I am.”

There was something deeply satisfying about how, even in her current state, even after all these years, she could still make him blush. “Why, ‘cause I let you drag me to another one of these New Year’s parties? When we had a perfectly good excuse to skip this time?”

She giggled in response. “It’ll be good to see everyone, though. And it’s our last year with just the two of us!”

“Whatever,” he sighed.

But his annoyance was half-hearted, as it had been more and more with each passing year. His complaints seemed to her to be mostly out of habit. She knew he enjoyed this time with his family, even though he still had an _otherness_ with the former Zodiac members, the barest fence he’d put up to protect the memory of the outcast boy he’d once been. Under the thrall of the curse, whether consciously or not, his family had seen him as a lesser being, his pain a balm for their own despair. It was a scar that Tohru thought might never fully fade. Though the Cat’s prison had long since been destroyed, it still cast a shadow over the Sohma family.

She could see it in the way Kyo walked through the estate, back stiff, eyes darting towards any conversations, towards any group that might have glanced his way. Even at their home, out in the countryside where they were the only Sohmas, he had his good days and his bad. Therapy helped, though he had to dance around the truth of the curse, speaking of his pariah status as some prejudice of his strange, ancient family, and how he had simply been a difficult child.

Tohru found her arm being lifted, and the hand Kyo held bumped against her own head.

“Everything all right?”

It was only after her face relaxed at his voice that Tohru realized she’d been scowling. “Oh. Yes.” She bit her lip and stopped walking. “Kyo?” He turned to face her. “Do you really not like coming here? Is it… is it too much?”

He ran his hand over the top of her swollen belly. “Tohru, I--”

His gaze drifted, caught sight of something behind her, and whatever he was about to say died on his lips. His soft expression turned neutral, guarded.

“ _You!_ ”

Tohru turned towards the voice behind her. It was a man, standing on the other side of the pathway, a trembling finger pointed at Kyo. Though his hair was black, his cheeks more sunken, the lines on his face harsh and deep, there was no mistaking the resemblance.

Tohru had only met him once, shortly before their wedding. Kyo had brought her to his house at her request. She’d gone seeking his blessing for the wedding, and left without it and without any desire for it.

“I heard you’d be back.” The man staggered towards them as if in a daze. Tohru might’ve thought he was drunk, if not for his eyes, clear and focused on Kyo.

“We come back every year for New Year’s.” As he spoke, Kyo put his arm around Tohru’s shoulder and pulled her gently to his side.

His father’s gaze darted towards Tohru’s stomach, and he barked out a laugh. “So it’s true. Are you planning to do to her what you did to your own mother? How long do you think she’ll last?”

She heard Kyo take a deep, steadying breath. “If you want to talk, we can go somewhere private.”

“Why?” His father lifted his hands in a defensive motion. “Do you want to kill me, like you killed her?”

Maybe it was the hormones, or maybe it was because standing still pained her swollen ankles; or maybe it was just that she really, truly, did not like this man. But Tohru could feel heat rising in her cheeks, in her chest. “Excuse me--”

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten! Just because they let you walk free, it doesn’t change what you are. What you did.”

“Excuse me!” Tohru tried to walk forward, but Kyo held her in place.

“It’s okay,” said Kyo softly; she wasn’t sure who it was meant for.

“I hope it’s like you!” Spittle flew from the man’s lips as he took a quick step towards them. “Then maybe you’ll understand! I hope it’s a monster, _just like you!_ ”

“ _Hey!_ ”

Tohru didn’t let Kyo hold her back this time. She marched towards his father with her fists balled at her side, and even as Kyo rushed forward to put his arm in front of her, she stood her ground. “I hope he’s like Kyo, too. I hope I’m that lucky! If you paid any attention at all, you’d know what a blessing that would be. I feel so sorry for you. Because you don’t even realize what you’ve been missing.”

Tears stung her eyes, and she ended her rant with a very undignified sniffle. She whirled away from him, so quickly that she would’ve lost her balance if Kyo hadn’t been holding her arms. She took three steps before turning back and declaring, “And don’t ever call my husband a monster again!”

Kyo stayed close beside her, easily keeping pace with her angry waddle. His voice was terse when he whispered in her ear, “This way.” He led her down a narrow pathway that led to a small garden. There, beneath the bare boughs of some twisted tree, Tohru buried her face in Kyo’s chest and began to sob.

“I’m sorry!” she wailed as he stroked her hair. “I’m sorry I made such a scene, I just… I was so angry!”

When he didn’t reply, Tohru tilted her head up, only to find him smiling.

“Kyo?”

He pressed his forehead against hers. When he spoke, his voice was thick with tears. “I can’t believe I was ever worried. I should’ve realized.”

Tohru brought her hand up to his cheek. “What do you mean?”

“When we first found out… I was so worried about the curse, so worried that it would all happen again. That you…” He shook his head. “But you’re not like her. And I’m not like _him_.”

Kyo placed his hands on top of Tohru’s belly. “He won’t ever have to go through what I went through.”

“No,” she said, putting her hands over his, “he won’t.”

A third voice chimed in, in the form of two little feet kicking against Kyo’s hands.

Kyo laughed and patted her stomach. “Good kicks, little guy.”

Tohru bounced on the balls of her feet. “Imagine how good he’ll be when he’s got his daddy and grandfather teaching him!” Kyo smiled at her, and she knew he understood her meaning: their baby’s _real_ grandfather, the one who had helped turn Kyo into the man he was today.

Kyo bent down to kiss her gently. As he pulled away, his lips still hovering over hers, he said, “It’s not too much. Being here, I mean. It’s a lot, but it’s not too much. Not when you’re with me. And it helps now, to know that he won’t see this place the same way that I do. He won’t ever have to pass by that house and know what it means. His future gets to be whatever he wants it to be.”

He wiped her tears, then hooked his arm around hers. “Come on. We’re gonna be late.”

Tohru clung to him as they walked, arm-in-arm, towards a new year and a new day under a sunlit sky.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading!


End file.
